This is the third discussion on biblical marriage and divorce.
Here I have presented the view:
https://jesu.pl/when-is-a-relationship-recognized-as-marriage-by-god/
And here:
https://jesu.pl/can-a-marriage-be-dissolved-because-of-spiritual-fornication/
Biblical divorce is a very difficult topic for many people. Some will argue that divorce is not allowed, others will disagree.
Contrary to appearances, the topic is not easy.
Let’s ask ourselves a few questions. Let’s discuss a few issues. Not all questions will be answered, because marriage matters are individual, private. And only spouses know these answers.
1 – Does a marriage end in a civil divorce?
The parties sign a divorce paper at the Civil Registry Office, does that end the marriage?
A couple serving God may not have such a civil paper at all, another couple during the marriage, for various reasons, will get rid of this paper, so take a so-called civil divorce.
In reality, all of this is just on paper.
The most important question that interests us is the following: is this couple married before God?
This is the key and essence of God’s marriage. In other words, is this couple doing everything according to God’s guidelines?
A civil divorce and a Biblical divorce are two different things. For some, a civil divorce will also be a Biblical divorce, that is, a divorce before God.
For others, a civil divorce is just a signed piece of paper in front of a government office. They can do this for various reasons: financial, private, family, official, etc. However, their marriage is still Biblical, as they did not have a Biblical divorce, because they want to continue to be married. They are together and they still love each other.
2 – What is the quality of marriage?
Let’s say that spouses live together like strangers. They argue, they are not on the same page, they sleep in separate rooms, which means they do not follow the Biblical advice for marriage.
In such a situation, is the marriage still going, or are they strangers who hurt each other more often than they love each other?
Let’s ask some more questions.
• Are they of one mind in observing the basic laws of God? (Applies to spouses serving the true God.)
• Are they of one mind in love, meaning they love each other?
• Do they live in the same home?
• Do they sleep in the same bed as one flesh?
• Do they have sexual intercourse?
• Is the husband the head of the family?
• Does the husband run the home according to biblical guidelines?
• Are the wife and children obedient to the husband, and do they set an example of a God-fearing family?
• Is the marriage respected by those around them?
Check, dear Reader, what values should be met by a Biblical marriage:
https://jesu.pl/when-is-a-relationship-recognized-as-marriage-by-god/
3 – Exclusion of a spouse from the congregation
What to do when your spouse is excluded from the congregation?
We have a Biblical procedure that states when we can remove a brother or sister from the congregation.
Which is:
1 – fight for this person and tell them face to face what mistakes they are making.
2 – If they do not listen to you, then: take two or three people, talk to them and continue fighting for their life.
3 – When they do not listen to you, present the matter to the congregation. Then the congregation fights for this person.
4 – When they do not listen to the congregation, then: „let them be to you as a pagan/foreigner/standing outside the covenant of God (1482) and a tax collector (5057)”:
“If your brother sins against you, go tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he won’t listen, take one or two others with you, so that by the testimony of two or three witnesses every fact may be established. If he doesn’t pay attention to them, tell the church/congregation. If he doesn’t pay attention even to the church/congregation, let him be like a Gentile (1482) and a tax collector (5057) to you.” – Matthew 18:15-17.
This is the procedure for removing a brother/sister from the congregation.
But…
What should a spouse do if his/her significant other has been removed from the congregation in this way?
How should a wife or husband treat these words towards his or her spouse: “let him be like a Gentile and a tax collector to you.”?
4 – Biblical divorce
Divorce is a sad thing because it is a failure of the spouses.
However, God has provided the possibility of Biblical divorce.
This possibility is in the case of fornication by the spouse. This word is in the Biblical dictionaries with the number: 4202 and comes from the word 4203:
“But I tell you, everyone who divorces (630) his wife, except in a case of sexual immorality (4202), causes her to commit adultery (3429). And whoever marries (1060) a divorced woman commits adultery (3429).” – Matthew 5:32.
“I tell you, whoever divorces (630)his wife, except for sexual immorality (4202) , and marries (1060) another commits adultery (3429).” – Matthew 19:9.
Most often, we associate the word „fornication” with the number: 4202 with physical betrayal, or sexual life with another partner. The Biblehub dictionary adds something more.
The Biblehub dictionary provides the following information: „infidelity, both physical and spiritual. This term is often associated with moral and spiritual infidelity”.
The word 4203 adds the following mention: „to be unfaithful to Christ, pretending to be His true follower”.
From this we can see that fornication can be both physical and spiritual.
5 – Spiritual fornication
Do we have Biblical examples of spiritual debauchery?
Yes. We will show three examples:
A – the pharisees.
“Then Yeshu spoke to the crowds and to His disciples:“The scribes and the pharisees are seated in the chair of Moses. Therefore do whatever they tell you, and observe it. But don’t do what they do, because they don’t practice what they teach. They tie up heavy loads that are hard to carry and put them on people’s shoulders, but they themselves aren’t willing to lift a finger to move them.” – Matthew 23:1-4.
Christ warns against the deeds of the pharisees, but what they said was then considered as something that should be listened to. For their deeds they were called: serpents, offspring of vipers. They knew the truth about Christ, they knew who He was, but they condemned Him to death.
That part of them who did not accept the teachings of Christ committed spiritual debauchery.
B – lukewarm person.
https://objawieniejana.pl/im-going-to-throw-you-up-vomit-you-out-a-lukewarm-person/
A lukewarm person is a follower of the true God. At a certain point in his life, he strays from the true path. Pride and lack of love win out. He is given time to change his ways. When he does not do this, he is rejected by God.
Here too we have spiritual debauchery.
C – Jezebel
In the congregation in Thyatira there was a woman named Jezebel. She called herself a prophetess and committed fornication/debauchery:
“But I have this against you: You tolerate the woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess and teaches and deceives my servants to commit sexual immorality (4203) and to eat meat sacrificed to idols. I gave her time to repent, but she does not want to repent of her sexual immorality (4202) . Look, I will throw her into a sickbed and those who commit adultery with her into great affliction. Unless they repent of her works, I will strike her children dead. Then all the churches/congregations will know that I am the one who examines minds and hearts, and I will give to each of you according to your works.” – Revelation 2:20-23.
We do not know that Jezebel engaged in physical or sexual fornication. We do know, however, that she offered sacrifices to deities and this act is called fornication, debauchery. In that case, we are dealing with spiritual fornication.
An interesting fact is that the same word numbered 4202 was used here as in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9, where Christ gives the reason for divorce: fornication/pornography/spiritual fornication (4202)
Summary
It is quite easy to tell when we are dealing with physical immorality. In such a situation, the spouse has a partner with whom he lives and lives as if in marriage.
Then we have a clear message and reason for Biblical divorce. The betrayal of the spouse dissolved the marriage.
It is much more difficult to recognize spiritual immorality.
Why?
Because we must be sure that the spouse has been rejected by God.
So, we have followed the Biblical procedure, namely: talking and fighting for this person, then we have presented the matter to the assembly. When he does not listen to the assembly, he is rejected from it (see point 3).
However, this is not yet a reason to accuse your spouse of spiritual debauchery. God is very just and patient. We do not know how much time He gives this person to change their mind. Therefore, we must patiently wait for God’s clear action towards this person. Until then, even if the spouses have a civil divorce, they can still be married before God. They are in a state of separation: they live separately, but they are not allowed to enter into a new marriage.
“To the married I give this command — not I, but the Lord — a wife is not to leave her husband. But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband — and a husband is not to divorce his wife.” – 1 Corinthians 7:10-11.
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